The latest buzz round MAN v FAT soccer (what’s MAN v FAT Football?) has bought us enthusiastic about what our dream staff may seem like – the footballing legends of our youth who, despite having succumbed to the dreaded center aged unfold, may nonetheless present the children a factor or two about good type.
MAN v FAT Football performs six-a-side, so our staff right here contains 4 rolling subs, giving us ten gamers in complete. We requested the fellows over on the discussion board to place their heads collectively and decide their man for every place and that is what we got here up with.
Don’t overlook if you wish to play MAN v FAT Football and kick fats into contact then be part of up now!
GK – Neville Southall
The former Everton goalie is Wales’ most capped participant. I do know this as a result of he gave an meeting at my faculty. That’s simply how issues go down in Wales, it’s a reasonably small nation. These days he’s taking over a bit extra room between the sticks, however that’s absolutely no unhealthy factor?
DEF – Neil Ruddock
As Admin would have it, “A tough player in his time, now, well, softer all over.” Sadly, this image proves this.
MID – John Barnes
As the Bard as soon as quoth:
“You’ve bought to carry and provides,
But do it on the proper time.
You could be sluggish or quick
But you have to get to the road”
We’d wager the England hero isn’t as quick as he was once, however we wouldn’t wager in opposition to him attending to that line.
MID – Ronaldinho
It’s all relative, isn’t it – proper now I’d be fairly glad to be in this sort of form, however for the as soon as extraordinarily skinny Brazilian (fnarr) he’s wanting as if there’s extra junk within the trunk. Still, if he will get bored of retirement, we’d snap him up in a heartbeat.
FWD – Robbie Fowler
We could all stay in a Robbie Fowler home, however can we all eat on the similar desk? One for French thinker Eric Cantona to puzzle over. Criticised for his health at varied factors in his profession, the person Liverpool followers named God is nonetheless one of many highest purpose scorers in Premier League historical past.
FWD – Andrew Cole
Bit of a cheat you might assume, because the artist previously often called Andy Cole has gained weight on account of kidney issues, however there’s no one we’d moderately see on this place than this formidable, legendary striker.
GK – Kevin Pressman
Unlike a number of the different gamers on the dream staff, former Sheffield Wednesday keeper Kev was deemed chubby all through his profession, proving that peak situation for skilled play isn’t confined to the slim preconceptions of physicality that may spring to thoughts once we consider athletes. Not that that is how the followers expressed the sentiment from the stands.
FWD – Micky Quinn
Sometimes referred to as Sumo, although we favor to think about him as Bob Carolges *spit* (ask your dad to elucidate this reference) Quinn by no means let the taunts of the gang put him off – certainly, as one of many chants had it, “He’s fat, he’s round, he scores at every ground”.
FWD – Maradona
Soon to be performed by Ian McShane within the upcoming sequel to Escape To Victory*, the legendary ball handler is at the moment in higher form than he has been, an inspiration to any former professional refusing to let himself go.
FWD – Ronaldo
“Which Ronaldo?”, because the query is usually requested. “The fat one,” the reply usually comes. Sad occasions.
Who have we missed out? Shout on the discussion board about it. Then signal as much as MAN v FAT Football now!
*This film at the moment exists solely in my creativeness, till Sylvester Stallone reads this after which we’ll get the ball rolling.